Apparently TV loves me as much as I love it! I was looking at some new info about the season 6 premiere of "Lost," and apparently the show is going to air on Tuesday nights this year. Coincidentally, Tuesday happens to be the only weeknight I don't have any TV shows to watch. So nothing will conflict with anything else! Yay!

If it's a newsflash to you that I'm a huge dork, then you clearly haven't been paying enough attention to my posts. :P

Speaking of dorkiness, my plans for the evening consist of going to trivia night at the local pub with Katey, and then coming home and watching last week's "Heroes" and the latest "Doctor Who" special. I have a Netflix coming, but I think I'll hold off on that until another night. After all, who knows how long "The Water of Mars" will stay on Youtube?

Oh hey, fellow "Heroes" watchers: Is there a new episode next week? If so, I'll have to try to watch, despite limited TV access in my parents' house. Although if they have plans to watch a really good movie, I might hang out with them instead. It's just been 2 weeks since I've watched "Heroes" as it airs, and I miss talking to you guys about it. Reading the threads afterwards just isn't the same (although it is still funny).

In food news, for dinner tonight Katey made portobello burgers. I have a longstanding dislike for mushrooms, but I've been making an effort to get past it, and this- essentially a huge mushroom on bread with cheese and ketchup- was quite a test of my new tolerance for them. And...it wasn't bad. What's happening to me?

(This food reference in honor of visiblemarket, whose posts lately must always include a reference to food.) :)

Date:	2009-11-19 08:27
Subject:	People who can't listen, and other things that are wrong with the world
Security:	Public
Mood:	aggravated
Music:	nothing, because I have to go

I may or may not have listed my pet peeves here before. Aggressive drivers are one of them. People who excessively complain are a big one for me. Well, last night I rediscovered another one of those things that drives me up the wall: people who can't listen and debate reasonably.

For background, last night blankeygirl's boyfriend posted this article as a status update link. Kind of a troubling article, right? I would think that no matter where you stand on the issue of gay marriage itself, the events of the article alone would be uniformly unsettling.

However, we never even got around to talking about the actual content of the article. The first commenter was a young man- a friend of Corey's, I assume- who proceeded to express terrifically conservative views on the purpose of sex and to attack Corey- not for his own comments, at least that I could see, but for an injustice he observed in D.C.'s political system. From the beginning his comments were accusatory and extreme. Furthermore, whenever anyone would try to refute one of his comments, he would pull a phrase from what they said and use it as a jumping off point to express another equally extreme viewpoint or principle. Not once did he ever acknowledge the validity of the other commenters' arguments (or, if he found them to be completely and utterly invalid, say in a friendly way "I disagree" or "I find that to be invalid because...").

And therein lies my pet peeve. Because not only were these views not related to the issue the article was examining (they were issues within issues), but the aggressiveness and tangential nature of the argument prevented us both from seeing the real problem and imagining a viable solution. I imagine this is what happens in government all the time; if opinions are too strong or too forcefully expressed, people start seeing red, they get defensive, they fight back with their own opinions, and before you know it we're having a debate over whether it's OK to have sex outside of reproduction, and no one's listening to anybody. We need to learn how to moderate our opinions so that the most reasonable and fairest purpose can be served. This article details an injustice, regardless of one's political, religious, or moral beliefs. It is a subgroup that is being mistreated, and their plight is getting blown over once again in favor of a different moral agenda. I believe that stands as a truth we can all acknowledge in this article. Because this is only my perspective, I acknowledge that I may be limited in my views; I welcome the right of others to call me on that. But I will only listen if they, too, are willing to engage in calm, logical, and reasoned debate that is friendly to the opinions of everybody.

80% of the commenters to the post are teachers or teachers in training. This is how we teach our students to debate. It saddens me that there are people who grow up to be adults- especially who went to my college- and who still don't know how to talk this way.

Class time. Got to go! Might rant more later.

Edited to add: Wow, what a coincidence. I get to class today, and guess what we're talking about? The brain and its effect on human relationships, especially relating to problem solving, listening, and morality. Couldn't be more relevant to my own life!

Date:	2009-11-15 15:32
Subject:	Memes: The best time-waster
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	music on the figure skating competition my mom's watching

I have time to kill while I wait for Cathy to come and pick me up (I went home this weekend for a surprise birthday party that she was planning for her boyfriend), so I guess I'll do some memes!

motorcyclesfly tagged me in this one. :)

→ List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
→ Tag seven people to do the same.
→ Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it".

1) I am technology-avoidant (although not completely technology-deficient). I didn't get a cell phone until a year ago, didn't get texting until two months ago, didn't get an ipod until this past summer, and I still don't have my driver's license.

2) I could recite my alphabet when I was 15 months old.

3) When I'm nervous I run my hands through my hair a lot.

4) The qualities I get complimented on most are being cheerful, optimistic, and even-tempered.

5) I love dystopian sci-fi and stories about apocalypse. (That might go in direct contrast to the image you may have gotten in #4.)

6) My favorite Disney movie is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame." Even now, watching Frollo sing "Hellfire" gives me chills.

7) One thing that is true of almost everything I've ever done is that I wish I'd worked harder at it or paid more attention when it was happening. I'm never satisfied with the way I approach life, and I always want to do more.

Tagging megan_moonlight, greyfog, lotus0kid, visiblemarket, lovelycudy, guanin, and nymphy. But other people are welcome to do it too. :)

Additionally, I got these questions on a meme from arinde87 awhile back, and am just now doing them!

1. What's your fav. food? I really like macaroni and cheese. :P
2. What's your fav. color? Blue. Specifically dark cerulean blue.
3. Are you an intorvert or extrovert in RL? An introvert. I do have extroverted tendencies sometimes, but I need a lot of alone time and have a hard time insinuating myself into conversations. I'm not very assertive in social situations.
4. Do you forgive and forget? I usually forgive pretty quickly. Sometimes if it really hurts me, it takes me longer, but it's hard for me to think of anyone I haven't forgiven. I will admit I don't forget easily, but I try not to hold the past against people.
5. If you're stuck in a waiting room (just pretend that you are) somewhere and there's a tv and a storybook in that room, which would you choose to occupy your time with? I think the storybook would come first. :) Unless there was something really good on TV- but usually it's just the news, which doesn't interest me that much.

Aaaand Cathy's still not here. Guess I'll do some more reading and schoolwork while I wait. If she hasn't called by 4 I'm calling her.

Date:	2009-11-11 22:04
Subject:	<3 <3 <3
Security:	Public
Mood:	ecstatic
Music:	"Proud Mary" from "Glee"!

Dear "Glee",

I LOVE YOU SO EFFING MUCH.

That is all.

Love,

Sarah

Date:	2009-11-08 18:29
Subject:	So does this get fun and rewarding at any point?
Security:	Public
Mood:	crushed
Music:	"I Hate Everyone" (it's an actual song!)

I'm so not looking forward to classes starting again for the MAT. Remember before I started at my placement, when I was getting so tired of the work and frustrated by how I couldn't produce anything high-quality because I was so overwhelmed? Well, we haven't even started class yet, and already I'm feeling that way again. I'm trying to do this tech project that we have due tomorrow (tech, by the way, being my least favorite of the classes I have to take), and none of the sites we want to work will let us do exactly what we want. It's all really unhelpful and frustrating and confusing. And it makes me annoyed because none of the work I'm doing in these classes is anything I really want to do. I'm in for another six weeks or so of convoluted classes that I always feel lost in. I was really optimistic earlier today, and getting plenty of stuff done, but now I'm just kind of gloomy and I've given up on accomplishing anything much. I just know this is going to happen every day for the foreseeable future, too, and that just makes me dread going to class even more.

Sorry to be such a downer. :(

Date:	2009-11-08 00:42
Subject:	Up too late again, as always...
Security:	Public
Mood:	pensive
Music:	"Don't Stop the Music" by Rihanna

I'm waiting for my laundry to be done in the dryer, which is the main reason I'm still up. After I retrieve and fold it, I'm going to bed. Whatever, I'm so used to 5 hours of sleep at this point that it won't make any difference. :P

I had my last day at the middle school yesterday, and it went really well. The kids were totally sweet and wrote me goodbye messages and everything, and I realized that I did get kind of attached to them after 4 weeks. I do still firmly believe I'm meant to be a high school teacher- I just feel so much more comfortable and in my element there- but the middle school placement was beneficial, all the same. At the very least, it taught me that middle school isn't as bad as I make it out to be. If the job market is slim enough in a year that I have to take a middle school job, I might not be happy about it, but at least I'll no longer approach it with the kind of dread I might once have. They're crazy, but I'll admit they are kind of sweet.

One thing that I find odd and which makes me unhappy, though, is the way the curriculum is approached nowadays for middle schoolers. Specifically (and this 100% has to do with the standardized testing focus), my middle schoolers do reading skills, language skills, writing, and study short stories from an anthology- but they don't really read many novels. We do have literacy labs where they get into groups and choose from a selection of books to read together, but middle school teachers don't really teach novels that much anymore, at least not that I've seen.

I can't remember reading a single short story when I was in middle school. You know what I do remember reading? The White Mountains. On My Honor. Bridge to Terabithia. My Side of the Mountain. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. The Diary of Anne Frank. Call of the Wild (which I didn't actually read- the first book I had ever been assigned in school that I didn't finish- but it was assigned to me, which is the point). The Giver. Flowers for Algernon. And a bunch of others, which I don't remember as much. Many of these are still favorite books of mine today, and I really loved reading them. Short stories are cool and all, but very few short stories that I've read in my entire school career have stuck with me in the way that a book does. Part of the reason I'm so attracted to high school, I think, is because I can actually teach novels without being criticized for detracting from the mandated curriculum, which doesn't place them in middle school as much.

This isn't to say, by the way, that I object to focusing on reading skills in middle school. Honestly, I think the general idea they have is right. It makes absolute sense to me to teach kids how to perform the physical action of reading in elementary school, refine their reading and language skills in middle school, and give them more opportunities for literature examination and analysis in high school. What I don't like is that the schools seem to be doing this in an exclusive way, and I think that all of these components should be present throughout the levels- just with more of a focus on one or the other at a given time. That's not crazy, right?

Look at me. I'm a teacher, thinking about teacher things. ;) Laundry should be pretty much done now- good night!

Forgot to mention another thing: At my parents' recommendation (and they know what I like, so I typically take all their suggestions in this area seriously), I've been renting Season 1 of The 4400, the show about people who are abducted by aliens and returned decades later with special abilities. The comment my parents gave when they recommended it was "It's just like Heroes in the sense that normal people suddenly wake up with special powers, but this show handles it better than Heroes did." Which is true, although overall I found the first season of Heroes to be more engaging than the first season of this one. (It probably helps that Heroes had a full 1st season, and there's only 6 or so episodes of The 4400 Season 1.) I don't want to do a lengthy, spoiler-y review, but I will say that the pilot is the strongest moment of the series as I've seen it so far. However, each of the subsequent episodes is also strong, so even if I don't find it that addicting, it's still enjoyable. I plan to rent Season 2.

What really surprised me, though, was how little fanvidding there is out there for this show. I have no plans to get into the fandom, but I did some browsing for vids, and it's astonishing that no one makes vids for The 4400. I mean, come on. "All These Things That I've Done" by the Killers? Perfect song choice, but nothing on youtube. "Second Chance" by Shinedown? Sounds like it could be written for the series as I've seen it so far. And yet, nothing. So my only real question is, where are all the vidders? :(

Anyway. Just wanted to share that.

Date:	2009-10-31 11:06
Subject:	Happy Halloween!!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	excited
Music:	"Take a Bow" by Rihanna

It's that time of the year again! :) I really struggled with what to dress up as this year, since I didn't bring back anything in particular and didn't feel like spending a lot of money on one-time-use costume items. So I was going to dress up as Echo from Dollhouse, because all that really requires is a solid color tank top and a pair of black pants (and I'd just walk around with a blank look on my face reciting the show's catchphrases). But I look nothing like Echo, so I'd probably spend more time explaining the costume than actually enjoying it. Even people who watch the show might not be able to tell that that's what I was.

Then I remembered: when c27beanie and gingerrose and fizzlefly and I went to Baltimore for Otakon last year, we dressed up as Captain Hammer fangirls from Dr.Horrible's Sing-Along Blog! And I have the shirt with me! So I changed gears in terms of Whedon shows. Now I'm a Captain Hammer fangirl for Halloween. :P I'm going to Hallowgreens, the big on-campus Halloween party, tonight, and I know there are people there who will get the reference. Katey is going as Carol from Where the Wild Things Are. I'll try to post pictures if I can remember to take them.

I have to admit, though, the thing I'm most excited about this year is getting trick-or-treaters. Back at home, the number of families that trick-or-treat has gotten so low as I've grown up. It used to be that everyone brought their kids around; we have a typical suburban neighborhood, mostly townhouses, so it's the perfect environment for it. But maybe people just don't trust each other the way they used to, or it went out of style, because my parents only get a handful of people coming to their house on Halloween. I know for a fact, though, that tons of people will trick-or-treat in the apartment complex where I live now, so we've bought quite a bit of candy and we're ready to go. I'm excited to see what everyone is wearing.

On an unrelated note, I feel like such a good reader. :) Back in April, through my own chain of lj hearsay, I got ahold of a gay fiction novel called Zero at the Bone. It is a romance, and something of a sexy one at that, but it's also a really intense and complex suspense story about a murder witness and a hit man on the run. Anyway, I've been recommending it recently to a number of people on my flist, and they've all loved it. It makes me happy because, well, it's a good book, and also because Seville is a first-time author, so I feel happy that I contributed in some way to increasing her readership. :)

Tomorrow's my mom's birthday! And November 1. Wow.

Happy Halloween, everybody! Post pictures of your lovely costumes if you can!

Date:	2009-10-19 19:07
Subject:	!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	ecstatic
Music:	"Sweet Caroline" from Glee

Possibly the most wonderful news ever, yes?

(Massive apologies to those on my flist who don't watch Glee. New fandoms make me excited, OK?) :P

Also, the 3rd entry I mentioned this past weekend will be up sometime after "Heroes". Because, um, I wanted to see what happens in this episode before I write it...which is my shorthand for "I didn't have time to write it before tonight's episode." I wanted to rewatch last week's before writing this one anyway. So I'll do that as soon as I can. I'm having overall good reactions to "Heroes" so far.

Date:	2009-10-16 17:56
Subject:	And now, something non-fandom related
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	"Lullaby" by Creed (shut up, OK? It's on my ipod. Don't judge.)

OK, so the second entry I was going to write involved stuff I've been reading about a new movie that is apparently so scary that people get scared to sleep or be alone after they've seen it. It should come as no surprise to anybody here that I am not interested in seeing this movie. But I've actually been thinking some about why I won't see it, besides the surface answer of "I don't like getting the crap scared out of me." And in part, it all goes back to a movie I saw a couple months ago.

( cut for commentary about this upcoming film, and spoilers for one I've already seen and then wished I hadn't, as well as vague ones for a couple other films that don't give away much )

Congratulations if you read that treatise! I think that's the longest bit of meta I've ever written. :) (Which is ironic, because it's all about something I don't like, instead of something I love.)

Date:	2009-10-16 13:00
Subject:	Yup. I'm hooked.
Security:	Public
Mood:	impressed
Music:	"The Last Song I'll Ever Sing", Gavin Friday

I owe you guys 3 lj posts about things I've been watching/observing/thinking on this week, and I'm going to get them all up in the next couple days. So to start off with, here's a reaction post to last week's Glee episode "Throwdown" (or, as I accidentally called it on the post-it I wrote to remind myself to write this entry, "Takedown").

( Spoilers for all of Glee so far, especially this week's episode )

OH! Another awesome thing I have to share with you all. I've been student teaching at the middle school for a few days (which has gone OK and all, but I think I'm definitely going to try for a high school job in the end; I work a lot better with older kids), and today was a professional development day, but the interns still came in and went to the meetings. (Well, 2 of us did.) Well, I was waiting in the office for Cathy to come in when it was time to go, and I was looking at the CNN broadcast on the TV. It was then that I noticed a massive homophone fail in the captions. The woman on the screen was saying, "I am a board member and an ambassador for UNICEF." However, this is what the captions said:

"I am a bored member and an ambassador for UNICEF."

It wouldn't be so funny if it didn't completely change the meaning of the sentence. :P This is why my content area is so important!

Date:	2009-10-11 10:14
Subject:	Gotta love moments like this
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused
Music:	"Canticle of the Sun"

So I was having a conversation with my coworker Keith after church this morning, and the following exchange took place.

Keith: So my cousin and I were out at my friend [says distinctive name of friend]'s house until really late last night.

Me: Your friend wouldn't happen to be a senior at [the high school I work at], would he?

Keith: Yes, he is!

Me: Yup. I'm his teacher.

Now I just feel old. :P

Date:	2009-10-09 22:19
Subject:	God help me...
Security:	Public
Mood:	giddy
Music:	"The English Ladye and the Knight" by Loreena McKennitt

I'm seriously considering submitting to this. My rationale: It can't hurt, it's right up my alley, and it might even get me published. What's not to love? I already have 2 ideas. :)

On an extremely related note, I know I haven't blogged about it in a while, but "Dollhouse" was phenomenal tonight.

( Cut for spoilers and commentary on why the series is failing )

In terms of real life, this week was another tough one in terms of work; I spent most of it dead tired and relentlessly unproductive. I'm dying to get back into the schools for student teaching at this point. :( I did meet my mentor teacher for my middle school placement, though! He's very nice, and very young- apparently he graduated college in 03, but he looks younger that that. People have been telling me nothing but good things about his teaching, so it looks like I'll be lucky enough to get exceptional mentor teachers for both placements. I start at the middle school on Tuesday.

Good night!

Date:	2009-10-03 22:12
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	hot
Music:	"Somebody to Love" from Glee

Man, was it abnormally hot where anyone else was today? Because it was here. I mean, it was a good thing, because today is Family/Alumni/Homecoming Weekend at St. Mary's, so I spent most of the afternoon outside (attending a soccer game- which we tied- and seeing the Great Cardboard Boat Race), but still. I liked the autumn weather we had a couple of days ago.

I'm very much looking forward to going back into student teaching mode in about a week. Classes, for some reason, are making me slightly crazy. My motivation is terrible, and I get so easily overwhelmed by the workload. I went in to visit my high schoolers for the first time this past Wednesday, and it was such a relief to get out of student mode and into teacher mode. So I'm looking forward to meeting the middle schoolers I'll be working with for the next month or so (7th grade!). Hopefully they'll be awesome.

In other news, Glee is quickly becoming an obsession for my housemate and I, as we frequently count down the days until the next episode. Quite a few of my fellow MAT cohort members watch it too, as well as friends both on lj and in real life, so I always have someone to talk about it with. :)

( Cut for some brief spoilers for episodes 1-4 )

Other TV is good too. "Heroes" is actually getting off to a rather good start this year. Maybe after this week's episode I'll put together an entry with some thoughts on the first 3 episodes, because it's been so long since I've done a "Heroes" update!

Date:	2009-09-25 21:33
Subject:	If this could be all the curveballs for the time being, that'd be great
Security:	Public
Mood:	crappy
Music:	Taylor Swift, because it was a trivia question tonight

Well. I had a crappy week.

To start off with, as you might have read on gingerrose's lj, we had a close family friend pass away on Saturday. He was a member of my church who later went on to become the associate pastor there, and then the pastor of his own church in D.C. He was a big part of a lot of people's lives, especially the kids (I remember going to movies with him and the other kids). This all happened very suddenly, so I was- and still am- kind of thrown by it. I think what's really tough is being separate from my home life while I'm here at school; I feel like it impacts the way I react to these situations. I feel troubled by them, but distant at the same time, and it's the distance I don't like.

In addition to that, apparently medical crises do come in threes, because over the course of the week two other church members had to go to the hospital due to medical emergencies (one for a reaction to a medication, and the other for an infection or something a bit more serious). So while they're both OK, it was just awful timing, like the bad news just kept rolling in over email. Plus everyone's been going through hard times lately; I've heard a lot of not-so-good news from friends about their lives the past few days.

Of course, this week also was a crazier-than-usual week in terms of schoolwork as well, and I'm falling behind on that. Today was supposed to be a light day, where I could catch up on things and let off some steam by doing fun stuff. Unfortunately, today was the day my computer charger/adapter decided to just die. For no reason. So I spent the day unable to use my computer because the battery was low and couldn't be charged. My afternoon consisted of driving with my housemate up to Leonardtown to the computer place to order a new charger, back down to the Verizon store to get texting enabled on my phone (which I couldn't fully do because the plan is under Florence's name), and getting groceries instead of resting like I planned. Now I'm on campus about to go to the first improv show of the semester, which I'm hoping will be relaxing for me.

Honestly, I was talking to my mom on the phone, and I told her, "I don't know how I'm going to handle another week like this." Because everything that's going wrong is happening without warning, so I have no way of knowing if it's going to let up, or if I can expect more of this in store. I want to think it's going to improve, but I'm not feeling terribly optimistic at the moment. Every day there seems to be this new, insane thing happening, and it's getting to the point where I can't really deal with it. I just want things to get better.

OK, improv show in 10 minutes. See you guys when my computer decides it wants to charge again.

Today I felt the sudden urge to start my weekend by resuming my quest to tag all my past livejournal entries. I've had this journal since 2004, but I only have the stuff from that year tagged so far. Well, I just finished tagging up to December 2005, and let me tell you, it is so weird going back and looking at those old entries. Reliving all those memories from freshman year of college is really strange. So many new experiences there- my first bonfire, first time being a club leader, first brush with relationship drama, etc.

But what's generally really great is being able to see myself changing through those entries. When I got to St. Mary's, I really started loosening up, experiencing things in a new way, and discovering all kinds of new stuff. Which is what happens to everyone when they start college- and I'm changing in all the same ways now that I'm in grad school- but it's fun to read because I forget how long ago all that was. Four years went by since those entries were written. I'm not sure when that happened.

Anyway, it's lunch time. :)

Date:	2009-09-17 15:58
Subject:	Thank God for new TV!
Security:	Public
Mood:	complacent
Music:	"Somebody Told Me" by the Killers

Last night, I was planning on writing more of a rant entry, about some things I'm concerned/frustrated about now that I've done both some student teaching and taken some classes. But instead of that negative entry (which I guarantee will make an appearance at some point), I decided what I really need to do is talk about the TV I've been watching! So far, the only thing that's premiered is "Glee," which I was interested in. Everyone else has been making reaction posts, so it's time I made my own. :)

( Spoilers up through the latest episode of Glee (1.3) )

Also, at the beginning of the week I watched an episode of "Warehouse 13" on the Sci-Fi channel (I refuse to EVER refer to it as "SyFy", because that's ridiculous and incorrect- the genre is called "sci-fi" and there's no need to change that). I actually kind of liked it. The episode I watched was the one with the prison and everyone seeing dead people, and it was creepy and attention-grabbing. I suspect episodes of that show may become study breaks for me at some point.

Also, "Bones" premieres tonight! If I don't go down to campus for the Voices Reading event, I'll be watching!

Date:	2009-09-12 23:30
Subject:	Probably the least exciting post on your flist tonight
Security:	Public
Mood:	nostalgic
Music:	"Shoreline" by Anna Ternheim

I've been trying to post at least once a week, but I don't really have anything to say outside of what's already been said! I just finished up my first round of student teaching- starting Monday I go back to having classes at St. Mary's full-time. It'll be weird not seeing my students every day- I might go back and visit sometimes when I have Fridays off- but I'll have plenty on my plate with schoolwork and everything. And I'm really looking forward to not having to get up at 6 a.m. every day.

The other advantage to being back on campus is easier access to the people and events there. One of the best things about the last couple weeks has been seeing my friends. On Sunday, for instance, oceanruins came and picked me up so that we and a mutual friend could go see "Star Trek" on campus and have dinner together. I miss when people didn't have to drive 15 minutes up the road for us to do those sorts of things, but it was nice to be back on campus doing what I always used to do. And I'll be making time for some stuff- English department events and really big club activites and such- but I have to create a little bit of distance to prevent myself becoming that grad who sticks around like they're still a student. (Well, technically as a member of the MAT cohort I am still a student, but you know what I mean.) I do different stuff now; granted, not a lot of stuff, but some things. Mostly within my apartment. :)

Lately I've also been feeling a little homesick, but I think that's just emotional growing pains. The further on my own I get, the more I get nostalgic for just being at my parents' house and listening to their music, eating their food, watching their movies. To be fair, I have quite a bit of my dad's music on my ipod, and I buy some of the same groceries we have at home, and my Netflix list is about 1/3 movies I've already seen when my dad rented them and am now viewing again. But it's different when you're on your own. I miss seeing them in the context of the place I grew up in. And my daily life is so different from the routine of living there.

None of this is meant to imply that I'm not happy here right now. I'm doing pretty well with getting things done and being on top of things (more so on weekends than weekdays, but that's to be expected), and I'm letting people get me out of the apartment and bring me along on adventures when the opportunity presents itself. Everything is going very smoothly. But maybe it's the fall weather or the craziness of trying to be an adult, but I'm very much struck by the changes in my life right now. I'm trusting that it's all going the way it needs to go!

P.S. By the way, Star Trek? Definitely as good the second time around. I'm glad I asked for it for Christmas. :D

Date:	2009-09-01 23:07
Subject:	Pensive-ness
Security:	Public
Mood:	lonely
Music:	none

I have no idea why I feel the need to commit this to memory in journal form, but last night I had a really good dream. Well, part of it was just kind of random- I was in a fast food restaurant trying to decide what (or possibly how, I'm not sure) to order, and at the end of the dream I realized I never went up and ordered my food, which was why I never got it. But the good part of the dream was that in it, there was this fictional guy that my subconscious made up. And it stuck with me because he and I were the best friends you can possibly imagine. In the dream he and I were just joking around, but I had this pervasive feeling of being so completely happy. I was kind of sad when I woke up because he didn't actually exist in real life. :( (Well, I was also confused because I was facing the opposite side as I went to sleep on, so for a second I didn't quite know where I was. But then I was sad about waking up.)

This is not to say that I'm not happy in reality, or that my friends aren't amazing. But have you guys ever had dreams like that- where something in them is so complete and perfect, and then you wake up and it doesn't really exist? It's just a weird feeling. I've been thinking about it on and off today.

I should probably give a brief update on how my student teaching has gone, before I sign off! I'm officially a student intern in a high school English class, which has not been bad at all. The kids have been good overall; of course, they have problems with talking when they're not supposed to, and they haven't really internalized any of the procedures that my mentor teacher and I set out so explicitly. Their writing is actually what mainly concerns me. The AP Lit kids have a strong base but need work on several things, and the 10th graders...honestly, I think they're writing at a lower middle school level. They need some serious writing intervention. So I'm working on that. But both academically and behaviorally, I've had kids who are a lot more trouble than these guys, so it's been a breeze so far.

It's funny how much earlier I go to bed now, though, than I did as an undergrad. I come home ridiculously tired every day because I got up at 6:00 that morning, and usually I go to bed around midnight. (And I'm usually the one up the latest in the apartment!) I've started making my lunch the night before, which really helps me when I'm rushing out the door in the mornings.

Speaking of making lunch, I'm going to go do that now. Good night, everybody!

Date:	2009-08-23 22:54
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	discontent
Music:	a song by a fellow St. Mary's student

Not entirely sure why, but I'm feeling kind of down on myself tonight. This is more than likely a result of being residually tired from getting up early all week, as well as perhaps some nerves about my first week of teaching. But as usual, it manifested in something completely random: my carpooling difficulties.

As most of you know, I do not drive. I have a learner's permit, but no license and therefore, obviously, no car. This means I rely on other people to get me from place to place, which many of my friends have been kind enough to provide. But it's starting to get frustrating for me, because I feel like I'm constantly imposing on my friends by asking them to drive me places, and because I seem to be riding home with a different person every day. If we had a routine it might be different, but these days I'm always scrambling to find a ride. There isn't anything I can do about it- I can't exactly make a driver's license appear out of thin air- but I'm feeling bad about my lack of self-sufficiency.

So yeah. That's where I am right now. I should go to bed in the next hour or so, and I'm trying to think of a way to boost my mood before that. I think the only solution is probably sleep tonight and finally meeting my mentor teacher tomorrow morning, so we can establish a routine and I can get a system set up for getting back and forth to school each day. (And, you know, if I could solve whatever it is that's really bothering me. Because the root problem when you're feeling moody is never the inconveniences of carpooling.)